Russia - a Nation of Humour!

Did you know there is a very long tradition of Russian Political jokes?  I find this out from Wikipedia.  The jokes start with Imperial Russia and conclude with Post-soviet Russia.  They are HERE.  A Bloomberg article with the best jokes is HERE. Bloomberg's article, as with Wikipedia, demonstrates that Russian humour about the way the country is run is an unbroken tradition from the czarist era to the present day.  The article's author, like me, finds that many of them aren't funny.  But there are some great jokes in the article.  Here is Reagan's joke. "The CIA-Reagan Soviet joke pipeline was no secret at the time. One from a list declassified in 2013 was a particular favorite — Reagan told it repeatedly, once adding he’d shared it with Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev and gotten a laugh from him. The CIA version goes like this: An American tells a Russian that the United States is so free he can stand in front of the White House and yell, “To hell with Ronald Reagan.” The Russian replies: “That’s nothing. I can stand in front of the Kremlin and yell, ‘To hell with Ronald Reagan,” too. Two more from Wikipedia: A Gulag joke: Three men are sitting in a cell in the (KGB headquarters) Dzerzhinsky Square. The first asks the second why he has been imprisoned, who replies, "Because I criticized Karl Radek." The first man responds, "But I am here because I spoke out in favor of Radek!" They turn to the third man who has been sitting quietly in the back, and ask him why he is in jail. He answers, "I'm Karl Radek." A Stalin joke: Stalin reads his report to the Party Congress. Suddenly someone sneezes. "Who sneezed?" Silence. "First row! On your feet! Shoot them!" They are shot, and he asks again, "Who sneezed, Comrades?" No answer. "Second row! On your feet! Shoot them!" They are shot too. "Well, who sneezed?" At last a sobbing cry resounds in the Congress Hall, "It was me! Me!" Stalin says, "Bless you, Comrade!" and resumes his speech. Our pictures today come from Moyer Road - this is the road that Vineland Estates Winery is located on.  This silver barked bush along the side of the road is very photogenic as it is.  It becomes the texture for an abstract pattern created in photoshop.

Cyberisms

How did Cyber Monday get its name? It got it recently - November 28 2005 at Shop.org, coined by Ellen Davis and Scott Silverman to get people to shop online.  This is recent - think about Black Friday. Supposedly the term's origin is an early 17th century phrase and was school slang for "Friday on which an examination is held".  I don't see that repeated anywhere but the Google definition. Black Friday in the U.S. was first seen as the term used for the financial crisis of the U.S. gold market in 1869.  It was due to a gold buying/selling scheme. The original shopping Black Friday was theme given to mayhem in Philadelphia in the 1950's when shoppers flooded into the city in advance of the big Army-Navy football game on the Saturday. The myth of retailers going 'into the black' on the day after Thanksgiving started in the 1960s.  It is considered inaccurate but is 'officially sanctioned'  as it is a positive story. The going from red into the black is positive compared to other Black Friday origins which have a negative connotation. There's more about this at snopes.com. Today we're looking the macro images of the boats stored on shore in the parking lot at Port Dalhousie.  These are bits of wear and tear from the many layers of paint.  The lines that follow the textures are created with the Flaming Pear India Ink filter.

Surfacing Attention

Surfaces and Textures are an interesting theme for photography.  There are so many kinds of surface structures, details, shapes, and textures as the subject of the image. The photographer's task is to showcase the surface and texture itself.   There are so many places to find these - everywhere - in the grain patterns of wood, the surface of stones, crystals of snow and ice, water, fabric, metal, leaves, sand, woven objects, clouds.  Included are urban decay surfaces such as rust and decay where scratches and dents create surface structure, texture, detail, and colour. Textures can occur at all level – including aerial photography and landscape views. The types of surfaces and textures include: rough, ragged, gritty, bumpy, spiky, sharp, fuzzy, slimy, slick, slippery, smooth, soft, silky, scaly, coarse, burl, knot, slub, abrasive, scratchy, shaggy, bristly, prickly, spiny, thorny, burnished, glossy, polished, powdery, and fine grain. So I went to two of my own portfolios to see what was there - Surfacing Attention and Nature's Impressions - and clipped the thumbnail image displays.  We see the array of surfaces and textures all around us.

Is that 9ty or 9tee?

How has written language evolved?  There was no formal learning of  words with letters and numbers together.  And yet, when personalized license plates became widely available, the creativity burst forth and all kinds of 'play-words' evolved to be seen on passing cars.  I took a look at Plates4Less: "We at Plates 4 Less love to get creative in looking for private number plates so that we can give your vehicle a splash of personality! Our expert search team have created this page especially for people looking for private number plates featuring the number 9. We have been as crafty as we can, trying out as many different combinations as possible to get the best matches available. We hope you find the masterpiece you’ve been looking for! " The plates4less search team.  What makes a license plate cost 33,000, 306,000 or 6,500 pounds?  Our brain has an innate ability to translate letters and numbers.  This is the title of a post at turnerink.co.uk "F1gur471v3ly 5p34k1ng? How your brain can read words made of numbers" Didn't that make you smile? At the Fun with Words site there are observations about numbers, as spelled out in English, as in "Eight is the first number alphabetically, zero is the last" or this: "Lewis Carroll, the author of Alice In Wonderland, once noted that "eleven plus two" and "twelve plus one" use the same letters and produce the same sum." To conclude, we look to letter and number humour on jokeomania.weebly.com: Why was the 6 sad? A: 7 8 9 What did the alphabet say when it fell down? A: I-M-O-K Which rock channel do they letters of the alphabet watch? A: M-T-V Where does Mr.Alphabet sit when he comes home from work? A: In his E-Z chair What kind of sale did the number store have A: 2-4-1 Which letter and number when put together mean victory? A: I-1 What monsters do you find in the haunted alphabet? A: Killer B's Which letters and what number tell you to be careful? A: B-4-WARNED! What to letters mean good-bye?  A: C-U

Barking Up a Tree

How loud is a typical day? I wondered this when I was walking into the wind yesterday and it seemed to fill up my ears. Here are the measurements of a blogger who has serious hearing impairment: "I wake up to the flash of the alarm on my iPhone. (For those of us with hearing loss, there’s no point having an alarm that makes a sound, as we aren’t able to hear it.) The noise in my quiet bedroom room measures 44dB. I cough (87dB), then I get up and nip to the loo. Flushing the toilet registers 84dB. I go downstairs to let our dog, Tilly out. As I wait for her to come back in, I run the tap (85dB) and put the kettle on to boil (82dB). I pour water from the kettle into a cup (52dB), and open the door of the refrigerator (65dB). Then, I empty the dishwasher and put away the items, which make the following sounds: Crockery/Dishes  (89dB) Cutlery (91dB) Glasses clinking together (94dB) I pop some bread in the toaster and it makes a kind of ‘ticking’ sound as the control knob rotates. (70dB) I go for my shower (93 dB), then I dry my hair using the hairdryer (95dB). The loudest sound I was exposed to on this particular day, was the traffic noise when in the car with the windows open, which registered 99dB. The hedge-trimmer was the second loudest sound I encountered at 97dB.  She used the Decibel 10th app. Her article says that sounds louder than 85 dB can cause permanent hearing loss.  So I guess I met a big noise yesterday.  Here are abstracts of tree bark.

Barking

All About Lawyers

There is a general sense that lawyers are less than honest.   I checked out the the lawyer jokes and  found a wealth of cynical humour. For one-liners, these two seem to sum things up: - 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. - Talk is cheap. Until you hire a lawyer. Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, and honest lawyer, and an old drunk were walking along when they simultaneously spotted a hundred-dollar bill laying in the street. Who gets it?         The old drunk, of course, the other three are mythological creatures. Q: How many divorce lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: 3 - one to argue for the rights of the old lightbulb, one to argue for the rights of the new lightbulb, and one to argue for the rights of the light socket A minister and a lawyer arrived at the pearly gates, Saint Peter greeted both of them and gave them their room assignments.         "Pastor, here are the keys to one of our nicest efficiency units. And for you, sir, the keys to our finest penthouse suite."         "This is unfair!" cried the minister.         "Listen," Saint Peter said, "ministers are a dime a dozen up here, but this is the first lawyer we've ever seen." Mark Twain notes... "It is interesting to note that criminals have multiplied of late, and lawyers have also; but I repeat myself." It is amazing how a profession can have such a long and enduring reputation.

Christmas is its own Season

What makes Christmas its own season?  We are well into the Christmas season, with lots of shopping, decorations,  and lights. The weather seasons are what first come to mind. There are four seasons defined as divisions of the year marked by changes in weather, ecology and hours of daylight in our Northern Hemisphere.  In tropical climates there are two or three - rainy and dry are the common ones.   Some calendars in south Asia have a six-season method where there are from one to three seasons between summer and winter.  The two polar regions have two seasons - all sun and no sun. Wikipedia helps us understand  our current experience of the "Christmas season".  Also known as the festive season,the holiday season (mainly in the U.S. and Canada), or simply the holidays - an annually recurring period recognized in many Western and Western-influenced countries that is generally considered to run from late November to early January, defined as incorporating at least Christmas, and usually New Year, and sometimes various other holidays and festivals. Christmastide started as a season of the liturgical year in Christian religions. As you would intuitively know, it changed in the twentieth century with the rise of retail shopping.  The transition to the term 'holiday season' is a North American expression that has come about with increasing secularization.   We're looking at abstracts of birch bark today.  This one is at the Vineland Research Station where there is a little arboretum. We think of the birch as a smooth bark, like the first photo, but a close-up look reveals many different landscapes.

November is Chrysanthemum Month

We don't usually think of November as a 'highlights in the garden' month.  And yet this is the start of Autumn colours for Japanese Maples, Dawn Redwoods, Cypress,  and Weeping Willows.  Our pictures show the turning colours of Hosta leaves in my garden.   The Chrysanthemum is the 'birth flower' of November.  Longwood announced its Thousand Bloom Chrysanthemum Tree has more than a thousand blossoms again this year - 1,523 flowers on a single stem. The link takes you to a youtube video showing the growing technique over its 18 month life.  Close by to me are the Chrysanthemum Festivals of Gage Park in Hamilton (finished October 30th), the Niagara Falls Showcase Greenhouses (all of November),  and then Allan Gardens and Centennial Greenhouses in Toronto. Their growers have been to Longwood for training and expert guidance, and the results are displays of beautiful, large blossoms standing tall on single stems in many colours and shapes.

Bee Friendly

The bugs were out yesterday after the rain.  With the recent lack of water and the heat there weren't many bees or bugs flying about.   It was a quick change yesterday.  The double rainfall brought a sprouting of seeds too - and aren't they mostly our most robust weeds - so quick to spread and sprout.  As I research 'the ethical gardener' theme, I find that bees love dandelions, plantain and clover - so not mowing the lawn until after they bloom is kind to bees.  How does an urbanite balance between the perfect, manicured lawn and the environmentally friendly environment? Perhaps we can take an alternative path - planting bee-friendly trees. I find out that there are varieties of trees that are bee friendly.   I've never had these delicacies: black locust makes a honey that is almost water-white.  Tulip poplar nectar is reddish and highly prized, and linden makes a pale, delicately flavoured floral honey. So planting nectar-rich trees is another way of supporting our pollinators.  In my own garden is a prized pollinator tree.  It is the Heptacodium miconidoides - Seven Son Flower tree.  It is full of bees at the end of the summer when it has dense white clusters of flowers.  It is one of Paul Zammit's picks at the Toronto Botanical Gardens for the pollinator garden.  Find out more about the TBG pollinator garden.

Fun Facts

WHAT ARE THE FUN FACTS TODAY? This comes from thefactsite.com:  "If you’re bored and have ten minutes to kill, then why not check out this awesome list of the top one hundred most random and fun facts.   Banging your head against a wall burns 150 calories an hour. In the UK, it is illegal to eat mince pies on Christmas Day! Pteronophobia is the fear of being tickled by feathers! When hippos are upset, their sweat turns red. A flock of crows is known as a murder. “Facebook Addiction Disorder” is a mental disorder identified by Psychologists. The average woman uses her height in lipstick every 5 years. 29th May is officially “Put a Pillow on Your Fridge Day“. Cherophobia is the fear of fun. Human saliva has a boiling point three times that of regular water." I admit that I found the first fact a little bizarre as something fun.

Roadside Niagara

Yesterday I participated in roadside clean-up.  We all see the Adopt-a-Highway signs with a sponsoring group.  The Rotary in Grimsby sponsor the clean-up of the east and west ends of Main Street - where they are in the country.  If you think about the side of the road in the city or a town, the property owner has a stake in maintaining  cleanliness.  In the country, the property owner doesn't see the garbage or doesn't live at the site, or doesn't experience a need to clean up the garbage, so there it is. There re so many stories roadside:  The soggy plastic-bagged newspapers in deep ditches that failed to make the driveway and really weighed down the garbage bag.  Then there are the Tim Horton's and McDonalds cups that supposedly are recyclables but look like they could last for 10 years on the roadside. The number of cigarette butts is astonishing.  As they don't break down, we see years of accumulation and I left them there.  Sometimes there was a little gathering of garbage:  did the car pull over and they ate snacks, drank beer, threw out the empties, and then left? The highlight find were the accident pieces on both sides of the road.  On the other side was glass, and on my side were pieces of a front grill. There are rules in garbage pick-up:  don't touch anything you can't identify, don't touch air brakes.  don't go onto private property to pick up garbage, don't go out alone, take a cell phone, and so on. Today's images are roadside signs that have decayed over the years.  This was at the Mexican Pub and Grill that once was the White Eagle on Highway 8 near Beamsville.

Lifehacker Thursday

The Cannas have finished blooming for the year, and the tubers are tucked away till next spring.  The leaves are a significant size.  That  means light in combination with the lines on the leaves make for wonderful abstracts. And I found this with the news today: There's a Top 10 website called Lifehacker.  In April, it celebrated its 10th anniversary and posted its most popular top ten lists of everything.  Take a look HERE.  With the website's success, Thursdays are known as "Lifehack Thursday".

Wind Storm Warning

What makes a wind storm warning more significant in the late fall than in the spring? The Tree Expert told me last year.  He said that it is the trees who have suffered some decay or stress during the summer that are the ones prone to problems.  Heavier winds start to occur in the fall, and that's what causes limb failure. Of course there's the possibility of trees uprooting.  How many inches of rain make the soil wet enough that the roots come undone? The experts say that drainage is the major concern rather than rain fall.  Did you know that roughly 90% of a tree's roots are in the upper 18" - 24" of soil? How do you know if a tree in your yard is at high risk for falling?  The expert says:  look at the tree and its environment.  Is the tree leaning? Has the leaning increased in recent years? Is the crown healthy - root problems are often reflected in crown condition.  Are there noticeable cracks in the trunk? These are all signs of weakness and stress. We'll see what today's high wind warning produces.  Today's photos of fall colours in Charles Daley Park are filtered through rain patterns on the car windshield that we experienced yesterday.